The King James Bible was written in 1605, which means that there had previously been centuries of Bible writing and rewriting.  King James' version is one of the more famous, but it certainly wasn't the first, and it certainly wasn't the last.  There have been many others who have tried their hands at rewriting the Bible since then—telling the same story, only with different words.  Since the copyright has almost certainly lapsed by now, I figure I might as well take a crack at it.  Here's Genesis I. In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth.   Before that, God created God, because the creation of God was such a good yet complicated idea that only a Perfect Being could think of how to do it, which is why God created Himself.   It was pretty dark, so God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light; and God liked it so much He renamed it day, and let day go on all day, and when day was over the darkness came back, and He r...